Friday, January 18, 2013


Before I get writing, I promise this is not a rant, but it might be random ramblings.

Jon and I both celebrated our birthdays last week and we had a wonderful time doing so.  Jon's parents came out to celebrate on his actual birthday and we enjoyed the biggest snowstorm Utah has seen since 1968.  During the crazy snow storm, Jon went skiing with his dad at Brighton.  It was so fun to listen to Jon reminisce about learning to ski when he was little.  The week leading up to it was almost better than the week before Christmas because he had all of these great memories to bring up.  He talked about how it was such a fun thing to get to spend time, just him and his dad, on the lift and out on the runs.  Jon's love of memories and following traditions have to be two of my favorite things about him.  His sentimentality this month may have rubbed off on me because for the last few days I have been feeling almost homesick for times when I was younger.

As I was driving all over Davis County for work this week, I kept thinking about the carefree days in college when I worked at an orthodontic lab picking up and delivering study models and retainers.  It was so fun.  I could rock out to mix CDs from high school and it was at the perfect time of day to call family in all time zones as I wound through the streets of the small towns south of Provo.  Then, today as I was flipping through radio stations, I came to a station that played 4 songs in a row from a mix tape that my sisters made when I was in elementary school called the Boy Mix.  It made me miss our road trips down to Indiana to see Beth.  Just Jessiy, Maggie, and me driving in the dark to spend the weekend with Beth.  Maggie and I would grill Jessiy to find out what the latest news from Sarah was since she was living in Utah going to BYU.  It really made me miss those days, when I could be with my sisters all of the time, or at least talk to them all of the time when they were out of state.

When I was younger I always looked at people in their twenties and thirties and thought I would never get there.  I would never be older and looking back at my younger days missing them.  But really, I do.  I don't know if it was turning 26, or just this homesick feeling I have that has me thinking about all of this, but I miss the ease of life when I was younger.  I don't think that life is harder now really or that I'm even necessarily more busy then I was at some of the younger times that I miss.  I think it has to do with the proximity of all of the people I cared about.  Most of the time, the days that I miss are the days when I was with my sisters or my best friends from growing up.  Or, I was living in Provo and driving down to Henderson or 29 Palms to see my sisters on my spare weekends because weekends weren't full of church responsibilities or even really job responsibilities.  I didn't have to think about what time it was in another time zone before placing a call and with friends, I could mostly tell from the time of day where they would be to meet up with them.

I guess what I am getting at is this.  I love my life and I love all of the experiences that I have had so far to make my life what it is.  I'm happy where I am right now, I love my home, my husband, and our creatures that keep us company, but I also love the memories and times that made me who I am today.  January is a hard month for me to be happy usually.  I often think about January 1998 when my sister Jessiy was killed and it wears me down.  This year though, I am trying to focus on the fun memories of spending time with her and the memories of how losing her brought me and my sisters closer.  I'm so grateful for the time that I had with her and for the memories that I do have.  I'm thankful that even now, when we all live so far apart, that I am still part of that eternal family.  I wish I could herd everyone closer together, but for now, facetime and phone calls will have to do.  I sure do love these sisters of mine.