This afternoon I was having a fantastic time on pinterest. Pinning cute baby picture ideas, pinning cute quilts, just pinning away. Then I noticed a pin about the number of diapers that it takes on average to diaper twins for one year. I followed the link and started reading this lady's blog. It was very informative, so I read a couple of other posts that she wrote. That's when the internet turned into a no good, dirty rotten scoundrel. I followed a link to her birth story. I am so glad that she shared it, but still, reading some people's birth stories are TERRIFYING!!! Especially twin birth stories of people who never wanted a C-section. Just reading through it had me crying for her and for the fact that she didn't get to see each of the babies before they were wheeled away to the NICU. I read the comments that people left and they mostly linked to similar horrendous experiences. So, rather than feeling betrayed by the internet for now making me feel somewhat paranoid that my body will go into labor at 28 weeks (I'm 22 weeks right now) or that none of the hospital staff will answer any of my questions (we picked the doctor that we go to because of the time that she takes with each patient to answer any and all questions), I am going to make a plan for the worst. Here it goes.
1. My babies will probably be delivered via C-section and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would love to deliver them vaginally because I have heard that the recovery is much easier, but I will do what is best for the babies and not be afraid. During our infertility treatments I had no fear about egg retrieval, where I underwent anesthesia and was on bed rest for 2 days after, so if I could have no fear going into that process of wanting to have babies (egg retrieval was always a success, the embryos fertilized as well, they just never implanted), I should have no fear of a process for actually bringing the babies into the world. Yes, there are horror stories, but I have to trust that the doctors I am seeing are very skilled in what they do and will know how to take care of things.
2. After a C-section, there is a chance that I won't be able to see the babies before they are taken away to be checked on. I will probably feel very sad about this, but I know that Jon will be able to go with them and he will have seen them and he loves them every ounce as much as I do. I know that they won't be taken away just to hurt my feelings, but because there is a need for them to be cared for.
3. I might have the babies sooner than the end of September or even have to be on bed rest for awhile. Now, this might be the hardest one for me to accept. So far, I have been really active this pregnancy. I am on my feet for most of my 8 hour shifts at work and although I am sore and sleepy by the end, my feet are not uber swollen, and I am able to look forward to a shift the next day. Since we found out that we are having twins though, our doctor has changed her recommendation on daily activity and starting at 24 weeks she wants to restrict me to walking less than 3 miles a day and limit my actual exercise to zero. That just seems crazy to me. It seems counter intuitive to be less active and I think most everyone would agree that it seems that way. So, I pried further at my last appointment as to why I have to be restricted, and apparently, the body doesn't pay attention to how many babies there are, just the size of the uterus in regards to when to go into labor. Most women who are having twins reach the measurements of a singleton full term pregnancy at 28 weeks. At that point, their bodies think it's just time to deliver. So, really, my body just needs to cooperate, and if it doesn't, I just need to accept that these two are going to make me slow down.
4. This one is not related to having the babies, but relates to getting ready. According to most of the twin pins I've followed and what everyone says, I need to have the nursery prepped and ready to go by 28 weeks. That is 6 short weeks away. I should probably solidify crib choice and mattress choice and maybe get carpet ordered since we already cut out the carpet that was in that room previously. We bought paint already, we just need to put it on the walls... so the next few weekends will be fun project weekends for sure.
So, there are all of my reasons to not be afraid, so here I go to try to not be afraid. Now I'm going to go snuggle the cutest dog on earth to help calm my nerves even more.