This afternoon I was having a fantastic time on pinterest. Pinning cute baby picture ideas, pinning cute quilts, just pinning away. Then I noticed a pin about the number of diapers that it takes on average to diaper twins for one year. I followed the link and started reading this lady's blog. It was very informative, so I read a couple of other posts that she wrote. That's when the internet turned into a no good, dirty rotten scoundrel. I followed a link to her birth story. I am so glad that she shared it, but still, reading some people's birth stories are TERRIFYING!!! Especially twin birth stories of people who never wanted a C-section. Just reading through it had me crying for her and for the fact that she didn't get to see each of the babies before they were wheeled away to the NICU. I read the comments that people left and they mostly linked to similar horrendous experiences. So, rather than feeling betrayed by the internet for now making me feel somewhat paranoid that my body will go into labor at 28 weeks (I'm 22 weeks right now) or that none of the hospital staff will answer any of my questions (we picked the doctor that we go to because of the time that she takes with each patient to answer any and all questions), I am going to make a plan for the worst. Here it goes.
1. My babies will probably be delivered via C-section and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would love to deliver them vaginally because I have heard that the recovery is much easier, but I will do what is best for the babies and not be afraid. During our infertility treatments I had no fear about egg retrieval, where I underwent anesthesia and was on bed rest for 2 days after, so if I could have no fear going into that process of wanting to have babies (egg retrieval was always a success, the embryos fertilized as well, they just never implanted), I should have no fear of a process for actually bringing the babies into the world. Yes, there are horror stories, but I have to trust that the doctors I am seeing are very skilled in what they do and will know how to take care of things.
2. After a C-section, there is a chance that I won't be able to see the babies before they are taken away to be checked on. I will probably feel very sad about this, but I know that Jon will be able to go with them and he will have seen them and he loves them every ounce as much as I do. I know that they won't be taken away just to hurt my feelings, but because there is a need for them to be cared for.
3. I might have the babies sooner than the end of September or even have to be on bed rest for awhile. Now, this might be the hardest one for me to accept. So far, I have been really active this pregnancy. I am on my feet for most of my 8 hour shifts at work and although I am sore and sleepy by the end, my feet are not uber swollen, and I am able to look forward to a shift the next day. Since we found out that we are having twins though, our doctor has changed her recommendation on daily activity and starting at 24 weeks she wants to restrict me to walking less than 3 miles a day and limit my actual exercise to zero. That just seems crazy to me. It seems counter intuitive to be less active and I think most everyone would agree that it seems that way. So, I pried further at my last appointment as to why I have to be restricted, and apparently, the body doesn't pay attention to how many babies there are, just the size of the uterus in regards to when to go into labor. Most women who are having twins reach the measurements of a singleton full term pregnancy at 28 weeks. At that point, their bodies think it's just time to deliver. So, really, my body just needs to cooperate, and if it doesn't, I just need to accept that these two are going to make me slow down.
4. This one is not related to having the babies, but relates to getting ready. According to most of the twin pins I've followed and what everyone says, I need to have the nursery prepped and ready to go by 28 weeks. That is 6 short weeks away. I should probably solidify crib choice and mattress choice and maybe get carpet ordered since we already cut out the carpet that was in that room previously. We bought paint already, we just need to put it on the walls... so the next few weekends will be fun project weekends for sure.
So, there are all of my reasons to not be afraid, so here I go to try to not be afraid. Now I'm going to go snuggle the cutest dog on earth to help calm my nerves even more.
5 comments:
I've been aligning my expectations with the exact same things! What blog was it that you read? I'd love to read it... In a glutton for punishment I guess but I'd rather go in to things with as much information as possible :) :)
I think what you're feeling is completely normal, especially since you are having two babies. Oh, and I was on bed rest and it ended up being the biggest blessing in disguise. I HATED it at the time, but now l look back with gratitude to HF for giving me some final "me" time before my life got flip turned upside down. Embrace it! :) anyway, let me know what we can do to help. We are good painters. I'd also love to bring you dinner (and anything else you may need) to help in your recovery.
Here's hoping for the best, but as for the first two items on your list, they happened to me. I had Addy by c-section and they had to put me out completely, so I had the very weird experience of going to sleep completely pregnant and waking up completely non-pregnant. If a c-section happens to you, I can give you some tips for recovery. The first few weeks you will feel like you are being ripped in half every time you get up, but that is NORMAL. Have people hand you babies as much as possible, including in the middle of the night. Pay attention to your lift limit (I think mine was 10 lbs.) and don't push it. And you will eventually get back to normal, but it takes a while. Lower expectations of what you can do will help you healing.
Brent got to see Addy first and was with her for about an hour an half before I woke up. They have a very strong attachment and I wonder if some of it was because he was with her in the first hour of birth. I was very glad that he got to take that time with Addy, and I bet Jon would be, too. I have a strong attachment with Addy, too, and I don't feel like I lost out on anything. Rather, I love that Brent got that opportunity.
Lastly, I have a friend who carried twins to 39 weeks. :)
So, I want to give you come encouragement. I had to go on modified bed-rest with Lillian at 14 weeks. You read that right. Fourteen. There were times in the pregnancy I was on strict bed rest. Let me say I was not a happy camper about it most of the time. But, look at it this way...you need to do it for the health and well being of your babies. And at no point in your life will it be so easy to be on bed rest (you don't have kiddos to run after).
I also just visited my friend who had 4-week old triplets at home. They are beautiful and perfect. She delivered at 35 weeks, after being on hospital bed rest from 32 weeks on. She did all of this whole having a nearly 3-year old at home. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and even though oit's scary, the best patient is an informed one.
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